I’m back to congruent thinking again.  A few surprising events had caused me to rethink my mission and my message in light of these economic times.  I was led to some audio CDs that I’d gotten no less than 10 years earlier and I listened to them yet again.  Funny how the angels, the Holy Spirit, and/or our own subconscious mind lead us to what we need at just the right time, isn’t it?  I’m grateful for that guidance!  And I’m grateful to the wisdom that urges me to listen and take action too.

One CD was entitled Congruent Thinking.  My thinking had gone down an errant path; one that was eroding my confidence, one that undervalued my wisdom.  Well like most women I found my answer within.  The CD prompted me with salient questions, and I turned inside and was given the messages which brought me back on track.

Yes our lives are buffeted by outside influences, yet if we fall prey to allowing the news or externalities/outside events to steer or take sole ownership of us, we’ll all be depressed a lot, especially in these uncertain times.   Just as boats throw anchors to limit or eliminate drifting, we also must know whom to trust and employ our own wisdom to buffer ourselves from the many distractions, which are invariably short-term.  We must keep our eyes on the ultimate goals of our lives, knowing when to measure our success.  Premature “measuring” would have us missing the point of the endurance of a champion marathoner when her 50-yard dash time was sub-par compared to that of those competing in the 50-yard dash, for example.

I know from Neuro Linguistic Programming that information enters our minds through filters.  We’re all in charge of our filters and while that sounds easy enough, it does require a certain level of consciousness and discernment.  Yet it is surely worth our effort!

Nightclubs employ bouncers, and arenas employ security so that if someone is instigating negativism among the otherwise happy patrons, the bouncer/security guard notices the situation, seeks to narrow the focus on who’s causing the commotion, and then takes swift action to remove the person or persons responsible.  We also must be diligent gatekeepers of our minds and lives.  We must be conscious of those people in our lives who are contributing to our forward motion and those who are hindering our success; those who believe in us and those who don’t; those who are helpful and those who are not, those who emit a positive outlook and those who don’t.

I do believe people are in our lives for a time, a reason or a season.  We may enlist some people to participate in our lives for a time, and never again.  We may invite others to help shape our lives for a particular reason, and then some people will cross our paths for a season—the length of time of any of these is variable, of course.

While some people’s exits from our lives may be the result of some lack or failure, most are not; some people just need to move on.  Now I understand that it is not only ok when someone voluntarily leaves our lives, it is often healthy.  (And if it is also sad that certainly does not equate to unhealthy; it’s often just plain sad.)

I’ve heard it said, “I’ll tell you where you are headed when I see with whom you are hanging around” or some such language.  I encourage you to take a silent roll call of those around you.  If your confidence isn’t primarily boosted by their company, have a chat with them and tell them you want for both of you to contribute positively to each other’s lives.  If they agree, why wouldn’t each of you state specifically one or two examples of behavior or language that would contribute more of a positive effect in your lives?  Likewise you may wish to state specifically one or two examples of what each of you has interpreted as negative language or behavior and commit to eliminating those.   Teaching ourselves and teaching our family or friends or clients more effective communication is nothing short of being helpful and extremely loving.  It also acknowledges that while many have tried, no one has ever passed MindReading 101.

Let’s talk with each other.  Let’s communicate effectively with each other, and let’s be confidence enhancers!  We Can Do It Women!